Are You the Chief Everything Officer? Overfunctioning in Senior Women Leaders

I want to say that first, before any advice, because if you have found your way to this page you have probably already decided the problem is you. You are the one who can't switch off. The one who says yes when she meant to say no. The one who is still in her inbox at 7pm, fixing something that was never hers to fix in the first place.

There is a name for this pattern. It is called overfunctioning at work, and it shows up again and again in the senior women I coach. Not because you are doing something wrong. Because you are very good at what you do, and the system around you has noticed.

A client of mine gave it a better name. She called herself the Chief Everything Officer. I wish that one was mine, because it's brilliant, but it's not. It stuck because when I say it out loud, women laugh, and then they go quiet.

I'll be honest with you too. I'm a recovering people pleaser. I know this pattern from the inside.

What overfunctioning looks like at director and VP level

At your level, overfunctioning rarely looks like chaos. It looks like competence. That is what makes it so hard to see.

It looks like the 7pm inbox, when everyone else has logged off and you are finally getting to your own work. It looks like the message that starts "Can you just check one more thing?" and the fact that you always do. It looks like rewriting a direct report's deck at ten at night because it is quicker than explaining what needs to change.

It looks like doing two jobs. Somebody left, the role was never backfilled, and you quietly picked it up alongside your own. Months later, you are still carrying both, and nobody has said it out loud.

It looks like being everyone's go-to. Very competent, very clever, very capable, but always a yes person. Your peers bring you their problems. Your boss brings you the messy project. Your team brings you the decision they could have made themselves. And you take it, every time, because you can.

Why it is a system pattern, not a personal failing

Here is the part I really want you to hear. Your high standards are the reason you're in the job. They are also the reason they've given you two jobs.

Systems reward whoever reliably catches the ball. Once you catch it, it keeps coming to you. Nobody sits down and decides to hand you three teams' worth of problems. It happens one yes at a time, one "I'll just do it" at a time, until the shape of your role has changed and nobody remembers agreeing to it.

When I run this as a workshop, I ask everyone to write down everything they are carrying right now. Then I ask them to look at the list again and notice whose work it actually is. Every time, the same thing happens. Somebody looks up and says it: every single thing on this list is somebody else's gig.

That is not a character flaw. It is a habit that was rewarded, often for years. Many of us learned early that being the reliable one, the helpful one, the one who never drops the ball, was how we earned our place. It worked. It got you here. But a habit that was rewarded can also be changed, and changing it is not the same as caring less.

The hidden cost: capacity, judgment and the decisions only you should be making

Capacity is not infinite, however good you are at pretending it is. Every yes you give to somebody else's work comes out of the same tank you need for your own.

And this is where I want to be clear about burnout, because a lot of women tell me they are fine because they are still functioning. Burnt out doesn't mean I'm on the floor. It means I've lost the energy. It means the work you used to love feels heavy. It means you are getting through the week rather than leading it. If you don't catch it now, it catches you.

The cost is not only to you. When you are running on empty, your judgment changes. You get more reactive. You say yes faster, because a quick yes feels easier than a difficult conversation. You make decisions to clear your desk, not because they are the right decisions.

And the decisions only you should be making get pushed to the edges of the day. The strategy. The people calls. The hard conversation with your boss about scope. Those are the things you were hired to do, and they are the first things to get squeezed when you are busy doing everyone else's.

Your team pays a price too. If you always step in, they never get the chance to step up.

So I'll ask you the question I ask every woman I work with. If you say yes to everyone else, who are you saying no to? You.

Five signs you have become the Chief Everything Officer

You might recognize yourself in one of these, or in all five.

1. You say yes before you have finished hearing the question. The yes is out of your mouth before you have thought about what it will cost.
2. You are doing two jobs, and nobody has named it. You picked up extra scope "for now," and "for now" has quietly become permanent.
3. Your own work happens after everyone else has gone home. Your days belong to other people's priorities. Your thinking time is the evening.
4. You fix instead of handing back. It is faster to do it yourself, so you do, and the same problem lands on your desk next week.
5. Your priorities are always the ones that move. When something has to give, it is your project, your lunch, your workout, your evening.

If you want to check where you are with this, my free Overfunctioning Scorecard takes a few minutes and gives you a clear picture of where your capacity is going.

The Power Pause: three seconds before you say yes

If overfunctioning happens one yes at a time, then the place to start is the yes itself.

This is the Power Pause. Before you agree to anything, take three seconds. Breathe. And ask yourself one question: what am I about to agree to?

That is it. Three seconds. It sounds too small to matter, but those three seconds are the gap between a habit and a choice. Most of the yeses that end up crushing us are not decisions. They are reflexes.

In those three seconds, you might notice:

• This is somebody else's gig, and I am about to make it mine.
• I do not have room for this unless something else comes off.
• I need more information before I can say yes.

And then you have options other than yes. My favorite is the simplest: "Can I get back to you on that?" It is a full and professional sentence. You are not saying no. You are saying yes more slowly.

Practice it somewhere low stakes first. A meeting invite. A favor from a peer. A "quick question" in your messages. The more you use it in the small moments, the more it will be there for you in the big ones.

One thing off your plate by Friday

You do not undo the Chief Everything Officer role in one go. You start with one thing.

Here is the challenge I give every group I work with: one task, one named person, gone by Friday.

1. Write your list. Everything you are carrying at work right now. All of it.
2. Circle one thing that is somebody else's gig. Not the hardest one. Pick one that is clearly not yours and that you could hand back this week. Start with a win.
3. Name the person. Who should actually own this? A direct report, a peer, your boss, a different team. Write their name next to it.
4. Have the conversation. Keep it short and kind. Something like: "I've been picking this up, and it really sits with you. From next week, I'll pass it straight to you."
5. Let it be done differently. It may not be done the way you would do it. That is fine. Different is not the same as wrong.

Then notice what happens. Usually, nothing falls apart. The other person picks it up. And you get back a little of the time and energy you have been giving away.

Next week, pick another one.

When it is time for support (and what kind)

If you have read this far and thought "that's me," please know you are in very good company. And if you have tried to change this pattern before and it keeps coming back, that is normal too. Nobody undoes years of holding everything together in one afternoon.

I still have a coach myself. Not because I have it all figured out, but because it is very hard to see your own patterns from the inside.

There are a few ways to get support, depending on what you need right now:

• A small weekly nudge. My free Midweek Reset lands in your inbox once a week with one practical idea you can use straight away.
• A self-paced route. RIZE Foundations is a twelve-week self-paced program you can work through in your own time.
• One-to-one coaching. RIZE Executive Coaching is where we work together on the patterns, the conversations and the decisions that are testing you now. Your employer may be able to fund this.

You can also find out more about me and how I work on the home page.